Ex- English skipper Lewis Moody has announced he has been identified with motor neurone disease and acknowledged he cannot yet deal with the full ramifications of the muscle-degenerating condition that ended the lives of fellow rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old, who was part of the World Cup champion 2003 side and won several English and European titles with Leicester, spoke to BBC Breakfast two weeks after discovering he has the disease.
"There's a certain facing the future and not wanting to really process that at the minute," he stated.
"This doesn't mean I fail to comprehend where it's going. We grasp that. But there is absolutely a reluctance to look the future in the face for now."
Moody, talking alongside his wife Annie, explains rather he feels "peaceful" as he concentrates on his immediate wellbeing, his family and planning ahead for when the condition progresses.
"Maybe that's surprise or maybe I process things differently, and when I have the facts, it's easier," he stated further.
Early Signs
Moody found out he had MND after observing some lack of strength in his shoulder area while exercising in the gym.
After physiotherapy was ineffective for the condition, a set of scans showed neural pathways in his central nervous system had been compromised by MND.
"You're given this medical finding of MND and we're rightly quite emotional about it, but it's so strange because I sense that nothing's wrong," he remarked.
"I don't sense unwell. I don't feel poorly
"My symptoms are quite slight. I have a small amount of muscle loss in the hand area and the shoulder.
"I'm still capable of doing whatever I want. And with luck that will persist for as long as is attainable."
Disease Development
MND can progress swiftly.
As per the organization MND Association, the condition claims a third of people within a twelve months and above half within two years of diagnosis, as swallowing and inhalation become harder.
Treatment can only delay decline.
"It isn't ever me that I am upset for," commented an affected Moody.
"It's the sorrow around having to tell my mum - as an sole offspring - and the consequences that has for her."
Household Impact
Conversing from the family home with his wife and their pet dog by his side, Moody was overwhelmed by emotion when he discussed telling his sons - 17-year-old Dylan and adolescent Ethan - the devastating news, stating: "It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do."
"These are two excellent boys and that was rather devastating," Moody said.
"We were seated on the settee in weeping, Ethan and Dylan both wrapped up in each other, then the dog leapt across and commenced removing the drops off our faces, which was rather funny."
Moody stated the priority was remaining in the moment.
"There exists no cure and that is why you have to be so strongly concentrated on just accepting and savoring everything now," he commented.
"As Annie said, we've been very lucky that the only real determination I made when I concluded playing was to allocate as much period with the kids as attainable. We don't get those periods back."
Player Connection
Professional athletes are disproportionately affected by MND, with studies proposing the rate of the condition is up to sixfold higher than in the wider community.
It is thought that by reducing the air available and producing harm to motor neurone cells, regular, strenuous training can trigger the disease in those previously genetically susceptible.
Athletic Playing Days
Moody, who gained 71 England selections and traveled with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was dubbed 'Mad Dog' during his playing career, in recognition of his courageous, relentless method to the game.
He played through a bone injury of his leg for a period with Leicester and once caused a training-ground confrontation with team-mate and friend Martin Johnson when, frustrated, he abandoned a practice gear and started throwing himself into tackles.
After entering as a substitute in the Rugby World Cup decisive match win over Australia in 2003, he won a ball at the back of the line-out in the critical passage of play, establishing a foundation for scrum-half Matt Dawson to snipe and Jonny Wilkinson to execute the game-deciding field goal.
Backing Community
Moody has previously told Johnson, who captained England to that victory, and a couple of other ex- players about his condition, but the others will be learning his news with the rest of public.
"We'll have a period when we'll need to lean on their backing but, at the minute, just having that type of love and recognition that people are present is the crucial thing," he commented.
"The sport is such a excellent community.
"I told to the kids the other day, I've had an incredible life.
"Even when it concluded now, I've enjoyed all of it and embraced all of it and got to do it with unbelievable people.
"Being able to consider your enthusiasm your profession, it's one of the most significant honors.
"To have done it for so considerable a period with the squads that I did it with was a pleasure. And I know they will want to assist in whatever way they can and I look forward to having those talks."
